So I Quit.. Everything!
This is the most relatable thing I have seen in ever!
Every year we start by saying “this will be my year. This will be the year that good things happen, that I get my shit together, and that I will leave behind all the crappy things that have happened.” And then we start a new year and more crap is pummelled down our throats and we realise that life doesn’t actually hit the rest button with the new year. Oh no no, this is just adulting and life can be really fucking hard.
2018 has bitch slapped me something good. From break up’s and break down’s to realising that I have no idea what I want my next step to be in life and not enjoying a job that I thought would be my game changer, it’s left me feeling rather lost, and really quite sad.
I always admired people who could just up and leave a job or situation they didn’t find fulfilling. How could I be one of these people?? I chose to be. So, rather than doing what I normally do and powering through, I have stopped. Literally. I quit my job without having something else to move into. I moved apartments to have a fresh start and backed away like Homer from people and places that didn’t bring me happiness, which has shown me who the people who truly love me are.
I flipped my life upside down and backed myself to make it work in the pursuit of slowing down, getting myself back on track and looking after me. Anything had to be better than what I was doing and the way I was feeling. Is it scary? Hells yes!! Your comfort zone is really a place that allows you to sink into the norm rather than what’s actually best for you or brings you growth. And let’s be honest, nothing happens there.
We must change the patterns in our mind to change the patterns in our life, and if that means living on my savings until I can figure out my next move, standing on my own two feet and leaving behind what can only be described as my adopted family to get myself to a better place, then that’s what I will do. That doesn’t make it excruciatingly hard at times being without my ‘home.’
It’s been 3 weeks since I left my job and while I find myself having some anxiety from the guilt I feel of needing to be doing something, I have been really enjoying taking the time for me. I still don’t really know what to do with myself, but what I do know is that I am more likely to come out on top by giving myself the space to figure it out. And here I am, writing again and finding enjoyment in it for the first time in so long! Baby steps honey, you’ll get there.
Moral of the story? Look after you first and foremost, no matter what it is that you have do to do to find your happiness.